Accident with swordand sons friend and ensuing wife fall out

Bob A · 9th May 2023, 02:47 AM

No need for the bin. Pack it all up and send it to me. I'll gladly cover shipping.

If your wife ever gets over herself, I'll return it, on your dime - (shilling?). If you've been together for 14+ years, I'm not sanguine about her changing her stance, nor on your exchanging her for a more open-minded example.

You may want to consider a locked room, or safe, or closet, or chest for your collection. Out of sight already, you won't be missing much. As for the kid getting pinked, pointy things were made for that. Boys will be boys.

Does Ireland have he same silly laws about pointy things that the UK has introduced? Such a shame, to blame inanimate objects rather than bad people for that sort of thing, but decadence will out, over time, in most any civilisation.

Pleased to report that my wife has finally reached a state of tolerance for my weaponry; watching cities being burned by anarchist thugs, with the tacit complicity of govt, has helped open her eyes. Ultimately and ideally we are each responsible for ourselves.

drac2k · 9th May 2023, 04:13 AM

I read your post with sympathy and a bit of amusement.
First, consider yourself lucky; had you been stateside, you would have been probably talking to a lawyer about suing you instead of a father.
Secondly and more importantly, if you have a good wife, educate her rather than get rid of her as it will cost you less and you will end up losing the collection anyway. You can advise her that the value of your collection is doing better than your 401K plan. Next, you can relate to her by informing her that even though you don't understand her need for dozens of pairs of shoes and purses that she possesses and will never wear more than once, you accept that as she should accept your desire to collect the things that you like, and whereas her items have no resale value, yours do. Take her to a real Militaria show; she will meet some of the most educated people around and the old men will swarm around her, making her feel like a movie star. You should follow that up with a great meal(spare no expense), at an excellent restaurant.
Boys being boys, they would have gotten into something had they not gotten into your study; whether it was the kitchen drawer full of knives or your tool shed with hammers, nails, saws, etc. The results would have been the same, somebody cut or bleeding. I do think that your son should suffer as you have suffered, as there are consequences for his careless behavior. I might suggest that he be placed on restriction for a couple of weeks, doing any chore that your wife requests, such as cleaning, laundry, pulling weeds out of the flower bed, etc. If you really want to be harsh, you can insist that every time your wife goes shopping, he must accompany her.
All in all, I am guessing that you have 2 very fine sons and a nice wife, and this will be a funny story to be brought up at the next Christmas gathering.

toaster5sqn · 9th May 2023, 04:41 AM

I'm not sure I can advise trading in the wife for one who is more into weapons. While marrying a tomboy does avoid an awful lot of the usual complaints it gets tricky when they decide that being a tomboy is not enough for them any more and transition to male. That sort of thing can really bring the relationship to an end.

gp · 9th May 2023, 05:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bob A

No need for the bin. Pack it all up and send it to me. I'll gladly cover shipping.

The boss, that’s my wife, doesn’t like my Bichaq and Yataghan collection,
yet her tongue is deadlier and faster than an AK47 Kalashnikov …
and sharper than a cakija…( Bosnian knife)

Can I pack her up and send her to you? i’ll gladly cover shipping….

BR

Gunar

fernando · 9th May 2023, 07:32 PM

My wife is not the problem. She doesn't doesn't appreciate antique weapons but lives quite well with such tastes of mine. The daughter is grown up and away, so no problem there, either. So i am free to fill the dining room walls and shelves with my pieces; some space left for a couple paintings.
So the only precaution i must take is to prevent the pointy ones from hurting the cats, when they are on their way.

.

asomotif · 9th May 2023, 10:50 PM

Hello Ken,

Well, that is an unfortunate accident/incident for sure.
Although your son will probably be in puberty and part of the brain seems to turn into useless jelly during that period, I am sure this will be a lesson he will remember. Can it ease your wife's mind when there is a lock on the study ?

Personally I have a wall of spears in the living room. When my daughter was small I also had a basket full of klewang in the living. This never caused any problems. Also not with visiting kids. My daughter (18 yrs now) just confirmed that her friends are sometimes sort of impressed by the collection of spears, but they (fortunately) never show any intentions to fool around with them.

Interesting is that my wife has no problems with the weapons.
The wall of spears was in fact her idea. We have mandau's on display which she basiccaly likes. She does not like keris or rentjong and klewang, so they are in the attic.
Years ago I discovered that she really does not like fire arms.
I bought a blunderbuss from Atjeh and she was very clear on that one. I am not into fire arms myself, so it was never discussed before, but the blunderbuss had to go. My wife explained that to her this was a weapon designed to kill people....
Ok, I almost made the mistake of explaining her that the other weapons originally has a similar purpose

I wish you good luck finding a solution.

Best regards,
Willem

RAMBA · 10th May 2023, 12:03 PM

A cabin in the woods for yourself and collection only.

TVV · 10th May 2023, 05:56 PM

Jokes aside, this is a serious topic.

If I were you Ken, I would look at this as an opportunity to reevaluate and restructure my collection. I am not sure exactly where the line is between collecting and hoarding, but one test is perhaps the ability to let go of things. If you go through your collection with a more critical eye, there will probably be certain items that you may not want to keep. You can sell those and use the proceeds to buy fewer items, but of superior quality.

By trading quantity for quality, it would give your wife and others a sense of thinning of the collection, though from your point of view you would not be losing anything. A smaller collection can then be stored in a more secure place easier.

When it comes to emotional reactions, often showing an attempt to fix a situation is more important than actually fixing it, and should calm the situation down faster than if you try to downplay what happened.

Richard G · 10th May 2023, 07:19 PM

Most unfortunate, but not a disaster!
Clean and oil, and the sword will be fine.
Best wishes,
Richard

9th May 2023, 07:32 PM	#5
fernando Lead Moderator European Armoury Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Portugal Posts: 9,652	My wife is not the problem. She doesn't doesn't appreciate antique weapons but lives quite well with such tastes of mine. The daughter is grown up and away, so no problem there, either. So i am free to fill the dining room walls and shelves with my pieces; some space left for a couple paintings. So the only precaution i must take is to prevent the pointy ones from hurting the cats, when they are on their way. . Attached Images

9th May 2023, 02:47 AM	#1
Bob A Member Join Date: Feb 2014 Posts: 415	No need for the bin. Pack it all up and send it to me. I'll gladly cover shipping. If your wife ever gets over herself, I'll return it, on your dime - (shilling?). If you've been together for 14+ years, I'm not sanguine about her changing her stance, nor on your exchanging her for a more open-minded example. You may want to consider a locked room, or safe, or closet, or chest for your collection. Out of sight already, you won't be missing much. As for the kid getting pinked, pointy things were made for that. Boys will be boys. Does Ireland have he same silly laws about pointy things that the UK has introduced? Such a shame, to blame inanimate objects rather than bad people for that sort of thing, but decadence will out, over time, in most any civilisation. Pleased to report that my wife has finally reached a state of tolerance for my weaponry; watching cities being burned by anarchist thugs, with the tacit complicity of govt, has helped open her eyes. Ultimately and ideally we are each responsible for ourselves.

9th May 2023, 04:13 AM	#2
drac2k Member Join Date: Jun 2013 Posts: 1,187	I read your post with sympathy and a bit of amusement. First, consider yourself lucky; had you been stateside, you would have been probably talking to a lawyer about suing you instead of a father. Secondly and more importantly, if you have a good wife, educate her rather than get rid of her as it will cost you less and you will end up losing the collection anyway. You can advise her that the value of your collection is doing better than your 401K plan. Next, you can relate to her by informing her that even though you don't understand her need for dozens of pairs of shoes and purses that she possesses and will never wear more than once, you accept that as she should accept your desire to collect the things that you like, and whereas her items have no resale value, yours do. Take her to a real Militaria show; she will meet some of the most educated people around and the old men will swarm around her, making her feel like a movie star. You should follow that up with a great meal(spare no expense), at an excellent restaurant. Boys being boys, they would have gotten into something had they not gotten into your study; whether it was the kitchen drawer full of knives or your tool shed with hammers, nails, saws, etc. The results would have been the same, somebody cut or bleeding. I do think that your son should suffer as you have suffered, as there are consequences for his careless behavior. I might suggest that he be placed on restriction for a couple of weeks, doing any chore that your wife requests, such as cleaning, laundry, pulling weeds out of the flower bed, etc. If you really want to be harsh, you can insist that every time your wife goes shopping, he must accompany her. All in all, I am guessing that you have 2 very fine sons and a nice wife, and this will be a funny story to be brought up at the next Christmas gathering.

9th May 2023, 04:41 AM	#3
toaster5sqn Member Join Date: Jul 2021 Location: New Zealand Posts: 68	I'm not sure I can advise trading in the wife for one who is more into weapons. While marrying a tomboy does avoid an awful lot of the usual complaints it gets tricky when they decide that being a tomboy is not enough for them any more and transition to male. That sort of thing can really bring the relationship to an end.

9th May 2023, 10:50 PM	#6
asomotif Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 2,221	Hello Ken, Well, that is an unfortunate accident/incident for sure. Although your son will probably be in puberty and part of the brain seems to turn into useless jelly during that period, I am sure this will be a lesson he will remember. Can it ease your wife's mind when there is a lock on the study ? Personally I have a wall of spears in the living room. When my daughter was small I also had a basket full of klewang in the living. This never caused any problems. Also not with visiting kids. My daughter (18 yrs now) just confirmed that her friends are sometimes sort of impressed by the collection of spears, but they (fortunately) never show any intentions to fool around with them. Interesting is that my wife has no problems with the weapons. The wall of spears was in fact her idea. We have mandau's on display which she basiccaly likes. She does not like keris or rentjong and klewang, so they are in the attic. Years ago I discovered that she really does not like fire arms. I bought a blunderbuss from Atjeh and she was very clear on that one. I am not into fire arms myself, so it was never discussed before, but the blunderbuss had to go. My wife explained that to her this was a weapon designed to kill people.... Ok, I almost made the mistake of explaining her that the other weapons originally has a similar purpose I wish you good luck finding a solution. Best regards, Willem

10th May 2023, 12:03 PM	#7
RAMBA Member Join Date: Apr 2019 Posts: 98	A cabin in the woods for yourself and collection only.

10th May 2023, 05:56 PM	#8
TVV Member Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Bay Area Posts: 1,601	Jokes aside, this is a serious topic. If I were you Ken, I would look at this as an opportunity to reevaluate and restructure my collection. I am not sure exactly where the line is between collecting and hoarding, but one test is perhaps the ability to let go of things. If you go through your collection with a more critical eye, there will probably be certain items that you may not want to keep. You can sell those and use the proceeds to buy fewer items, but of superior quality. By trading quantity for quality, it would give your wife and others a sense of thinning of the collection, though from your point of view you would not be losing anything. A smaller collection can then be stored in a more secure place easier. When it comes to emotional reactions, often showing an attempt to fix a situation is more important than actually fixing it, and should calm the situation down faster than if you try to downplay what happened.

10th May 2023, 07:19 PM	#9
Richard G Member Join Date: Jan 2012 Posts: 402	Most unfortunate, but not a disaster! Clean and oil, and the sword will be fine. Best wishes, Richard